All Hail the Big German Fuck

After finally winning his first NBA title, Dirk Nowitzki is finally a true international icon, and I am positive Mien Fuhrer would be happy. For the first time in 60 years the United States has a German man to fear, and I think we kind of welcome his presence. As much as the average NBA fan hates Mark Cuban and his Dallas juggernaut, the same fans are glad that the Miami Heatles didn't win their first championship just yet. Thus, I wonder why they even played these Finals, as no potential victor was favored by anyone. It is in times like these that I wish one of the Bay Area teams was good at sports, because no one would get mad if they won, ever. So to all of you sports fans out there that aren't from Dallas or Green Bay you'll have to wait another year, and in this time I invite you to scream out in hatred towards any of the oppressive sports Gods you worship, for not granting you a shinny metal cup.

Comments

Brett Favre's Illustrious Career and 'The Viking Situation'

Seeing as this is my first post, I would like to ask for a pass in advance for any typos, or errors in my facts in any of my posts. As his career comes to an end, (hopefully) I would like to take this time to examine Brett Favre 's career and my self-entitled 'Viking Situation' , and relate it to Any Given Sunday , which seemingly hasn't been done (other than this and this , both of which fail to fully relate 'The Viking Situation'), which I believe is odd. As well, as a disclaimer, I realize that the movie does not model the current situation, given the time difference, and merely wish to offer an odd amount of similarities. Brett Favre Dennis Quaid First, and most prevalently, credit must be given where credit is due. Brett Favre is arguably one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and seemingly the toughest. His record for yards (71,838) and touchdowns (508) are hard to argue with, although he also holds the records for most times sacked and most...

When the Stars Line Up

From 2010 to 2011, Alex Smith gained one receiver, Braylon Edwards . The 49ers backfield gained rookie Kendall Hunter , and the defense acquired rookie linebacker Aldon Smith . There have been some other changes to the 49er roster, but can these fairly insignificant pickups really account for a 9-1 record in week 10, after going 6-10 last year and missing the playoffs in the lowly NFC West? The real change, although it is hard to prove, is coach Jim Harbaugh . Initially, I will note, that other than play calling and technique, I find very little sympathy for people who argue that coaches really make a significant difference in the NFL. And I know that I'll get shit for saying that, but let it go for the time being. After all, one can hardly call Harbaugh a revolutionary college coach, after he basically one the lottery with Andrew Luck and Toby Gerhart leading the Cardinal offense. So for now, imagine Jim Harbaugh has not really accomplished anything. So what makes him such a...

The Phenomena of Dick-Riding in Sports (Athletes)

I have begun to notice as of late, that media outlets such as ESPN, or any newspaper, have a habit of renewing their passion for a player after he does something spectacular. And I say renew because they pretend like they always new he was great. As well, there are cases of people actually having always been good, and in that case, dick-riding is acceptable. However, I refuse to even open my ears when I begin to hear "This is a guy that has been overlooked during his career, but I always saw his true potential", or some bullshit along those lines. After all, what really gives anyone beside Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay, who actually spend their entire lives analyzing NFL Draft prospects, the ability to judge anyone? But my hatred for ESPN analysts whose credentials include a six-year career with eight teams will have to be saved for another day. For now, we examine the phenomena of players that tend to suddenly rise to power. Very regularly, this trend occurs in college spo...

Consider the Following: Sports

Search This Blog