All Hail the Big German Fuck

After finally winning his first NBA title, Dirk Nowitzki is finally a true international icon, and I am positive Mien Fuhrer would be happy. For the first time in 60 years the United States has a German man to fear, and I think we kind of welcome his presence. As much as the average NBA fan hates Mark Cuban and his Dallas juggernaut, the same fans are glad that the Miami Heatles didn't win their first championship just yet. Thus, I wonder why they even played these Finals, as no potential victor was favored by anyone. It is in times like these that I wish one of the Bay Area teams was good at sports, because no one would get mad if they won, ever. So to all of you sports fans out there that aren't from Dallas or Green Bay you'll have to wait another year, and in this time I invite you to scream out in hatred towards any of the oppressive sports Gods you worship, for not granting you a shinny metal cup.

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Let's Start it Up

The original inspiration for this blog was my cousin, a man who himself, during college, wrote a blog about sports. However, unlike the analytical master I have proven to be during my tenure as a blogger, he relied, perhaps to better results, on his wit and vulgarity. This lead, unfortunately, to his inability to continue his blogging career, once he got a stable job, and had a necessity for a clean image. When I began my writing, I had a similar dilemma, as I hoped my blog would look good on college applications, and thus was unable to use much vulgar language. Well now that that whole process is over, I'd like to welcome you all back, and get some things of my chest: Fuck those motherfucking Detroit Tigers , you goddamn abusers of the MLB system. A team should get like a 1-0 lead in a series for having a regular season record 10 games better than the other team. Because my Oakland A's were more than fucking deserving of an ALCS birth this year. So Justin Verlander can s...

The Art of The Draft

Whenever I ramble to my peers about NFL prospect Cam Newton , whether it be his scrutinized college career, or his remarkable climb to the top, the most common response I receive is "Why don't you just suck his.....(ya know)". Anyway, after I wittily respond with "present it", I come back from the world of soccer , and try to re-evaluate the current Heisman Trophy Winner. Yet, no matter which way I look at it, what Mr. Newton has accomplished over the past year is remarkable. And I believe there are 32 NFL GM's who have thought exactly the same thing. The only difference is that if I think Newton is good, the worst it can do is hurt my fantasy team, whereas it could cost a team millions of dollars to invest in the Auburn Quarterback. And the same situation exists across the board for this years crop of Quarterback prospects, and for all draftees for that matter. But I'll leave the cross-examination of corners and offensive linemen to the owners, and fo...

Brett Favre's Illustrious Career and 'The Viking Situation'

Seeing as this is my first post, I would like to ask for a pass in advance for any typos, or errors in my facts in any of my posts. As his career comes to an end, (hopefully) I would like to take this time to examine Brett Favre 's career and my self-entitled 'Viking Situation' , and relate it to Any Given Sunday , which seemingly hasn't been done (other than this and this , both of which fail to fully relate 'The Viking Situation'), which I believe is odd. As well, as a disclaimer, I realize that the movie does not model the current situation, given the time difference, and merely wish to offer an odd amount of similarities. Brett Favre Dennis Quaid First, and most prevalently, credit must be given where credit is due. Brett Favre is arguably one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and seemingly the toughest. His record for yards (71,838) and touchdowns (508) are hard to argue with, although he also holds the records for most times sacked and most...

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