Consider the Following: Sports

First of all, let me start off by saying I fucking love college football. I can watch 18-22 year old men run up and down the field all day (please tell me how gay you think that is in the comments). And I am more than blessed to have been able to enjoy the greatness of the Rose Bowl for every UCLA home game this season. But to sit here and pretend like I am satisfied with the way we rank our college football teams in this country is something I cannot do. The root of my frustration with the system in place finally offered up a poignant example this season, just in time for my newfound fandom with the UCLA Bruins to be ripped out from under me by the bloodthirsty devils that rank our nation's college football teams. The story starts in the beginning of September: As I sat at home for the month of September, awaiting the inevitable start of my college career, I had plenty of time to analyze, read, and hypothesize every aspect of the college football landscape. After 2 weeks of UC...

The original inspiration for this blog was my cousin, a man who himself, during college, wrote a blog about sports. However, unlike the analytical master I have proven to be during my tenure as a blogger, he relied, perhaps to better results, on his wit and vulgarity. This lead, unfortunately, to his inability to continue his blogging career, once he got a stable job, and had a necessity for a clean image. When I began my writing, I had a similar dilemma, as I hoped my blog would look good on college applications, and thus was unable to use much vulgar language. Well now that that whole process is over, I'd like to welcome you all back, and get some things of my chest: Fuck those motherfucking Detroit Tigers , you goddamn abusers of the MLB system. A team should get like a 1-0 lead in a series for having a regular season record 10 games better than the other team. Because my Oakland A's were more than fucking deserving of an ALCS birth this year. So Justin Verlander can s...

From 2010 to 2011, Alex Smith gained one receiver, Braylon Edwards . The 49ers backfield gained rookie Kendall Hunter , and the defense acquired rookie linebacker Aldon Smith . There have been some other changes to the 49er roster, but can these fairly insignificant pickups really account for a 9-1 record in week 10, after going 6-10 last year and missing the playoffs in the lowly NFC West? The real change, although it is hard to prove, is coach Jim Harbaugh . Initially, I will note, that other than play calling and technique, I find very little sympathy for people who argue that coaches really make a significant difference in the NFL. And I know that I'll get shit for saying that, but let it go for the time being. After all, one can hardly call Harbaugh a revolutionary college coach, after he basically one the lottery with Andrew Luck and Toby Gerhart leading the Cardinal offense. So for now, imagine Jim Harbaugh has not really accomplished anything. So what makes him such a...

 I am a faithful fan of the California Golden Bears . I watch Bears football through thick (and it has been very thick as of late), and thin. But when they lose, and subsequently lose bowl game hopes, it begins to become tough to care about any college football. Whereas an Alabama Crimson Tide fan can constantly be involved in their teams season and games, I am forced to continuously hope that Stanford will lose, simply out of spite. And as I have watched my fanhood wither this season, so has my interest in college football games other than #1 v. #2 matchups... Until last night. At around 3:30 (on the west coast), I texted an acquaintance of mine: " Wisconsin Michigan St ? ur house?" At this point I will concede that this was a high-profile game, and being a sports fan, it does make sense that I would be interested in this game, but it was my subconscious Badger disposition that struck me as odd as the game unfolded. I found myself hoping that Russell Wilson would make ...

So, despite the lockout and many other off-season ordeals, the largest change in the NFL seems to be that crazy kick return rule. The average dim-witted NFL analysts was shocked to learn that despite the ball being placed 5 yards up from last years 35-yard line, there were 8 kick return touchdowns in week 1. Of course, in any week, 8 kick return touchdowns is significant, but those extra five yards, I chose to argue, make no difference. So let's start by looking at a couple of examples: So I know these are both Percy Harvin , who is an amazing kick returner, but let's look at one other similarity between these two plays: Harvin beats the last defender with his incredible speed with about 30 yards to go before the end zone. Thus, would it have really mattered if the ball was 10, 20, even 30 yards closer to the offense. I say no. I for one, understand the idea of a shorter kickoff. The many blindside hits and concussions caused by kickoffs are dangerous to the sport, and ...

Yes, I realize it has been almost two months since I have posted on this blog. Yes, I realize plenty of important things have gone on in the world of sports that I could have chosen to write about in this time; but, as professional basketball and football both chose to take breaks this summer, I simply followed in their footsteps. And as the NFL starts today, with many people having already forgotten about the recent lockout, I hope my hiatus can be as easily forgotten. Thus, let's take a moment to talk about this first NFL Sunday. In incredibly American fashion, the NFL begins it's season today, the 10th anniversary of 9/11. The vast majority of games have already been started,and it's odd to see which teams have already made statements. My absolute favorite outcome of a game today is the Ravens 35-7 romping of the Steelers. Although I was unable to see the game, I know that anytime these two teams play, a defensive battle ensues. Yet, somehow, today, the Steelers ju...

I have never really felt like a 'breaking news' reporter, so I think it's ok that I'm a couple of days late reporting that the lockout is over. And frankly I am extremely happy that I no longer have to hear people asking me what I think about the lockout. Over the 130 or so days of the lockout I literally learned nothing about the inner workings of the dealings, because, honestly, I'm not a damn lawyer. And when I would tell people I didn't understand the process, they would tell me it's all about money.........no shit?! I felt like a fucking six year old, of course I know it's about money, I mean I just don't understand the $2 million off the top, or whatever gibberish ESPN kept feeding me. But now that it's over, one things is clear to me: someone fucked up. Not only have I heard more talks about the salary cap than ever before (yeah, I'm kinda mad that the Raiders are the most over cap of any team), and players are being shipped everywhe...

So, I tend to call this period of the sports year "downtime". The only sport in full swing is baseball (no I didn't mean for there to be any irony there). And when baseball is midway through the season, there are no real stories to cover. It can be even further affirmed that this is true when the vast majority of stories on ESPN are concerned with tennis and women's soccer... Yeah, who knew the women's World Cup was this week, it's so exciting. Anyway, the whole point I am trying to make, is that whereas I usually am able to take this time to marvel over blockbuster trades in both professional basketball and football, the masterminds behind the NFL and NBA (Goodell and Stern), are doing everything in their power to make sure that doesn't happen. I yearn for the days of Lebron James ' The Decision , and talk of Brett Favre 's third comeback. But instead, my summer has been haunted by talks of Collective Bargaining Agreements. And seeing as I am n...

I have begun to notice as of late, that media outlets such as ESPN, or any newspaper, have a habit of renewing their passion for a player after he does something spectacular. And I say renew because they pretend like they always new he was great. As well, there are cases of people actually having always been good, and in that case, dick-riding is acceptable. However, I refuse to even open my ears when I begin to hear "This is a guy that has been overlooked during his career, but I always saw his true potential", or some bullshit along those lines. After all, what really gives anyone beside Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay, who actually spend their entire lives analyzing NFL Draft prospects, the ability to judge anyone? But my hatred for ESPN analysts whose credentials include a six-year career with eight teams will have to be saved for another day. For now, we examine the phenomena of players that tend to suddenly rise to power. Very regularly, this trend occurs in college spo...

Whenever I ramble to my peers about NFL prospect Cam Newton , whether it be his scrutinized college career, or his remarkable climb to the top, the most common response I receive is "Why don't you just suck his.....(ya know)". Anyway, after I wittily respond with "present it", I come back from the world of soccer , and try to re-evaluate the current Heisman Trophy Winner. Yet, no matter which way I look at it, what Mr. Newton has accomplished over the past year is remarkable. And I believe there are 32 NFL GM's who have thought exactly the same thing. The only difference is that if I think Newton is good, the worst it can do is hurt my fantasy team, whereas it could cost a team millions of dollars to invest in the Auburn Quarterback. And the same situation exists across the board for this years crop of Quarterback prospects, and for all draftees for that matter. But I'll leave the cross-examination of corners and offensive linemen to the owners, and fo...

I want to start this post with a disclaimer: If you are a feminist, disregard this post, and come back next time. So now that all the feminists are gone, we can begin. Most people at least have a vague idea of what title nine is. But for those of you who don't, it's basically an attempt to eliminate sexism. However, today, we really only see examples of this law in place in high school and college sports. In an effort to create gender equality, schools must provide as much funding for women's sports as men's sports. So right there, there is the first puzzling example of title IX. Besides the phenomenon which was the Connecticut women's basketball team, and people like Danica Patrick , who doesn't even really play a sport, women's sports are meaningless. Yet schools are expected the spend as much money on these so called "sports" as men's sports. Subsequently, teams like women's gymnastics, and swimming, receive unrealistically large fun...

So, just being realistic, over half the country watched the Super Bowl , so there is no need to do any sort of recap. Thus, I will take this time to talk about the extracurricular aspects of the game yesterday. Ok yeah, the Packers won the Super Bowl. Congratulations. But honestly, the Steelers prized defense did little to nothing to stop Aaron Rodgers . He more or less picked apart Defensive Player of the Year Troy Polamalu's defense en route to the win. Thus, Ben Roethlisberger was left with the next-to heroic task of overcoming an extremely large defecit. Needless to say, his running efforts, as well as his beautifully crafted 2-pt conversion were all the Steelers could really manage. So now, let's get started with the commercials, most people's favorite aspect of the game. Well, in all honesty, they sucked. The usually-humorous Bud Light commercials looked like amateur productions, and the few highlights included Eminem and a little kid dressed like Darth Vader. Th...

The Pro Bowl is probably the least interesting game of the entire season, unless of course there were a Panthers-Bills matchup this year. In addition to it being a meaningless game with no benefits, other than the Cadillac SUV granted to the game's MVP, this year's game was unsurmountably less exciting than any other previous year. The NFC's slaughtering of the AFC, tells nothing of how the season went this year, because no one really tried. On every play from scrimage, the defensive line performed the same motion, slowly getting out of their stance and jogging towards the general direction of the quarterback. In addition, the extra rules for the game, made passes of under ten yards almost undefended, as press coverage was against the rules. No blizting and the outlaw of bunch formations (three WR's on one side), as well added to the dull atmosphere in Honolulu. Not to mention that no one in Hawaii cares about football. I truly think that the Pro Bowl should be play...

I know that it has been over a day since the two Championship games in the NFL, but there is stil a large need to recap them. Whereas the previous two weekends of NFL playoff matchups have featured a few exciting games, and the other games being boring blowouts, this weekend finally broke the 2010 mold. My dad frequently says that Championship Weekend usually has a better game than the Super Bowl, but this weekend, that was certainly not true.   Ben Roethlisberger and Aaron Rodgers showed why they are the most underrated quarterbacks in the league, once again, and their respective defenses methodically picked apart depressing Bears and Jets offenses. Needless to say, although both games were decided with 7 points or less, neither was as close as that. The Packers, despite being underdogs in terms of seeding, lived up to the hype that made them favorites over the two-seed Bears. On the other side, the Steelers finally quieted the loud Jets and their pompous coach Rex Ryan, givin...

Once again, another weekend of playoff football has come and passed, and once again there were highlights and lowlights. The AFC featured two exciting matchups, and more than enough pre-game hype in one of the games, for the whole year. On the other hand, although there was an upset in the NFC neither game was ever close, so let's start there. Yesterday afternoon, the Falcons matched up with the Packers, in a game that was expected to stay close. However, what unfolded on the field was far from expected. The six seed Packers, and their highly touted offense and defense, were large underdogs, as the one seed Falcons, playing at home, hoped to receive an easy entrance to the Conference Championships. Yet a strong outing by Aaron Rodgers and the Packers defense, resulted in a 48-21 rout of the 13-3 Falcons, in Atlanta. So, one game into the games this weekend an upset had already been recorded, but would the Seahawks be able to continue their 'cinderella story' and win aga...

What's the difference between these two people? Well, besides the fact that the girl, let's call her Jane, can ride a bike and Ray Lewis probably can't, and that the Jane's idea of a good time is a tea party, whereas Lewis' looks more like this: The NFL seems to think that's where the differences stop. Of course that's not true, as the NFL employs people that are for the most part very well educated. And no, this article is not about the 'cracking down' on big hits this season, but they do at least seem to think that the two people above are sensitive to the same things. Yet I don't believe that a broken toy would effect Mr. Lewis in the same way it does Jane, as I can't imagine a man of Ray's stature crying in any situation. Nonetheless, showboating or, as the officials call it, excessive celebration, has been a huge issue this year in the NFL (but before we continue, let me assure you, I do not agree with the NFL). And that is wher...

Thank you Arizona! For the first time this year, I can say this (my condolences over the recent shootings), because no matter how controversial of a statement it is, I am so relieved to finally have a good bowl game, yet a great bowl game. Well now it's all over, as we finally have a National Champion. After over a month of layover, the Auburn Tigers and Oregon Ducks met in a matchup for the ages. I realize I said I would highlight Cam Newton and his remarkable comeback this year, from community college to Heisman Award Winner, but tonight is not just his night, this is a night for the Auburn community (as Newton wasn't even named MVP). As I watch the postgame show, I will describe the game, highlighting key players, and explain the usual outcome the college football community saw tonight, as two high powered offenses combined for barely 40 points. As is the case with many match ups that occur after a break of over a month, the game tonight was very defensively dominant in...

Needless to say, this weekend brought the first round of the NFL playoffs, and as with many other years, the first four games had their exciting outcomes, and their boring blowouts (or in this case were closer than they looked). Though many may say that there were three exciting games (Colts-Jets, Seahawks-Saints, and Eagles-Packers), and one blowout (Chiefs-Ravens), I believe that the Eagles-Packers game was just about as upsetting and overhyped as any in recent history. Vick (left), and Jackson Therefore, I'd like to begin with that game and the other blowout, and end with the two exciting 'upsets' (I say 'upsets' because of the ridiculous seeding that occurred this year). Though the Eagles were considered by most to be a large Super Bowl contender this year, due to the shockingly impressive play of former convict Michael Vick , and his showboating accomplice DeSean Jackson , who has blessed the league this year, despite anyone who thinks its unnecessary, wit...

Last week, when I launched this blog, I sent the link to my family, mainly to see if I could get some followers. As I began to receive responses, my easy favorite was a comment from my grandmother: " I enjoyed your blog even though I didn't know what you were talking about. Also, I know there is some personnel changes going on with the '49ers and the Raiders . I have no advice to give or any comments." This wildly descriptive message will serve as the theme for tonight's post, as I attempt to answer her request. I will focus on the Bay Area, because everywhere else, interim coaches are being re-signed (Jason Garrett and Leslie Frazier) and suspected fired coaches are being kept on for another try (Tony Sparano and Marvin Lewis). As well, the only real vacancy is in Carolina, where John Fox managed to deteriorate a recent Super Bowl participant to a 2-14 record in 2010. But things are looking up for Fox, who is a leading candidate for the Denver Broncos head co...

I realize that this will be my third straight football post, but who can ignore the plethera of quality football on the college and professional level recently. I promise tomorow's post will not be football related. For now, though, I'd like to discuss college football. Althought the current bowl season has failed to impress to the level of years past (mainly the parody of this year's Fiesta Bowl ), last night's Sugar Bowl was exciting to say the least. The bowl featured two top ten teams, Ohio St. and Arkansas , as is expected given its BCS stature, and was action-packed from beginning to end, evident in the combined 57 points scored. Though it may seem as if this score was achieved by means of defensive failures, offensive struggles were the story of the night, as the Buckeyes won by a score of 31 to 26. NFL-bound quarterback Ryan Mallett threw for 277 yards and two touchdowns, stats, which although may appear impressive, do not rightfully reflect the NFL cali...